Nothing in my life seems to be going the right way. Which, in reality is bull crap, because I actually have quite a lot going for me. I know this. I've been told this. I've also been told to stop having this 'pity party' and that make my blood boil. I'm only human, we are all that way to some extent. But, I know in my heart of hearts, that I should.
"I'm here on the edge again, I wish I could let it go..."

I know when I am in trouble, when I am hurting, when I am afraid and feel like my world is crashing down on me-turn to God. He is the way, the truth and the light. He gives and takes away and loves us unconditionally, even when we do not love Him. But boy, does He ever take away. I must say I truly hate Him right now. Losing Watson opened up the [once] healing wound from the loss of my mama, and I feel the pain and dispair all over again. I hate Him. I do, but yet, I really need Him.
"All my agony fades away, when you hold me in your embrace..."

I have learned that the world is just truly cruel and evil. And it feels like I'm drowning, I'm suffering. Like there's no way out. I mean, how unfair is it that someone can be so hurt, lose so much, have so much loss in their life and look out their window and see that the rest of the worls has kept going.
"Don't tear me down, for all I need.
Make my heart a better place.
Give me something I can believe.
Don't tear it down, what's left of me.
Make my heart a better place..."

The world does not care that you hurt. People may not care that you hurt. But know this, no one is ever alone. I know this, I cherish it, and I hold onto it with all I have.
"Don't tear me down, what's left of me.
Make my heart a better place...make my heart a better place..."