tomato

today i drank tomato juice with my lunch.
i was sitting at the dining room table enjoying the view out of the sunroom.
the crystal blue of the sound. the sparkling water like tiny crystals.
smiling at the picture of you on the mantle.
i took a sip of the juice and breathed in the strong scent of tomatoes.
and suddenly i was back in 2004-back from camp and you and i were outside together.
sitting out on the gazebo deck sipping lemonade, scotty swinging in the hammock nearby.
frosty and bruno running around the neighborhood and dad at Costco no doubt.
and your cherry tomatoes in a delicious salad you prepared for us. yumm.
you and i laughing and chatting and catching up like best friends do.
enjoying the company like moms and daughters do.

and then...the memory was over.
aug. 22nd 09: you have been gone for 13 months.
perhaps that's why you sent me a memory today.
thank you mama.

Today I am smiling.
I have laughed, screamed, smiled, lived.
Today I remember what it's like to be happy again.

I love you mom. (In Loving Memory)

Here we go. I've put my heart and soul into this vid. Pretty much like I do with all of my work that relates to my mama. I miss her something terrible and I'm sure after this loads, I'll have a good long cry. I love you mama, this one's for you.

There is a way out.

I see the path, from this dark place.
I see my future.

I want a mom. My mom.

It's funny how the lyrics of a song can grasp your soul and really speak to you. It's even amazing how some of those certain songs have a way of finding you when you didn't you were looking. I've never heard this song before. (That's not saying much though haha.) It really got to me yesterday though when I first heard it and listened to the lyrics. I love words. It made me angry. It made me sad. It made me jealous. It made me remember. Today, August 16, is the birthday of one of my mom's dearest friends who is also having a really hard time without my mom. She raised her family with the same morals and understanding like mine. And she always looked to my mom for guidance. I love Kimberly, though she has her own family, se promised my mama as she was passing away that she would look out for my brother and I. And she certainly has. So, while I do not have my mom down here on earth, I have an earth mom that loves me very much. Though there is nothings like your own mother, mine just isn't here anymore. But she's the best guardian angel I could ever ask for. So I have a mom and and angel mom. One mom watches the rainbows with me, while the other one makes them. :)
So here's to you Kimberly. I love you very much. Happy Birthday!
And to you mama. I love you so much. This song. These lyrics are for you. I miss you.

"I want a mom that will last forever. I want a mom to make it all better
I want a mom that will last forever. I want a mom who will love me whatever

I want a mom to take my hand. And make me feel like a holiday
A mom to tuck me in that night and chase the monsters away
I want a mom that'll read me stories And sing a lullaby.
And if I have a bad dream to hold me when I cry

I want a mom that will last forever. I want a mom to make it all better
I want a mom that will last forever. I want a mom that will love me whatever, forever

When she says to me, she will always be there. To watch and protect me I don't have to be scared
Oh, and when she says to me I will always love you. I won't need to worry 'cause I know that it's true

I want a mom when I get lonely. Who will take the time to play
A mom who can be a friend and a rainbow when it's gray
I want a mom to read me stories And sing a lullaby
And if I have a bad dream, to hold me when I cry

I want a mom that will last forever. I want a mom to make it all better
I want a mom that will last forever. I want a mom that will love me whatever, forever."

I want my mom...
But I do have one. A few actually. And they will be there for me until mine will take me up in her arms for eternity and never let me go. Never again.

Visiting Jenn!!

Flying out to Spokane and my Jennifer will be picking me up at the airport. omg. I'm so excited, you have no idea. I MISS this girl. While down in Oregon she called me up and pretty much told me to "get your butt over here." She's newly engaged and David is going to be down in Nevada on a geology dig, so that means....GIRL TIME!! I'm so excited. Love her.

UPDATE:

In Spokane with my bud, and we have packed a picnic lunch and will soon be on our way to Cour de'Lane. This really hot weather is ridiculous. But she's used to it, and me living in the 'Burg for awhile, we're pretty used to it. (: However...Flanders, her car is being a tard. His AC only works when going 70+ mph. That's fine and all on the East side of the state, but...we're driving back to Seattle together and uh, well...the West side is 60mph and below. Chyeah. We're gonna die.

The cycle continues.

You have been gone a year. One. 365 days and counting. The cycle is continuing again. I am no closer to knowing why you were taken Home so soon. But no farther either.
Watch over me.

You are not here anymore. Not physically. I cannot touch you. I cannot reach out and have you catch me. I cannot cry and have you dry my tears. You are not here anymore. But you are not gone. Not forever anyway. You live on. In me.
Watch over me mama.
Watch over me.

I love where I live.

Three Tree Point is the place to be. And the 4th of July is no exception. So have a happy Independence America. I's proud to be an American.

Gosh I sure do love where I live. (:

love again?

so last night was SO good.
i had to write about it.
i've decided that i'm in love with love.
the butterflies and that excited feeling in the center of your stomach.
seriously now, i haven't felt that rush of really excited and happy emotion
since my mom died.
perhaps the sadness is finally beginning to crumble
because while i love, love.
i'm loving life again.

Mothers Day...

I survived it.

Beauty lives on.

Hosanna.
Hosanna.
Hosanna in the Highest.

Today I walked alone and spread my arms out like wings.
My head falling back and the beauty of the clear blue sky,
Overwhelming me to almost certain tears.
The love of the Lord and my mother wrapped around me.

Hosanna in the Highest.

This night one year I ago I sat in your hospital bed with you and we laughed and talked about things like we'd always do.
This night one year ago you were so excited to go home.
This night one year ago I learned you wouldn't be here much longer and I begged you to stay.
That night so long ago you were near me and with me like all moms are.
Tonight I wait for you to come find me and chase me to bed like you'd always do, but you won't be coming back.
And tonight, like every other night, I miss you.

London after midnight, Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh!

Oh, you'd have to know my E-Burg buddies and I to understand. Love it.

!

"Not all who wander are lost."

Words of wisdom from J.R. Tolkien as well as my mother. It's going to be busy as we wrap things up over here. Within the next day and a half my class will be heading back to the U.S. Ah Europe, you are amazing. I'll come back again someday.
"It's a dangerous business going out your front door. You step out onto the road and if you don't keep to your feet, there's no telling where you might be swept off to..." -Tolkien

Perhaps my heart lies in Paris

We could do whatever we wanted tonight and all I did was sit and admire the Notre Dome'. It's so beautiful and majestic, how could anyone not? There is a peace I feel sitting in it's great presence. Yes, I will come back to this place again someday. Sooner then later, a lesson I have learned from my parents. Maybe I will bring my own daughter someday and we will come here together for the mother and daughter adventure mom and I planned years ago. Yes, yes this is the city of love. I've got my mom's warm embrace wrapped around me and that is the love that will get me through anything. Au revior ma me're, je t'adore le vous.

Le Notre Dome

A song sung by the many who attended Camp Robbinswold, all over the world, and sung to me as a lullaby by my very own mother...French Cathedrals."Orleans, Beaugency. Notre Dame, De cle'ry. Vendome', Vendome'"

"Au Champs Elisee!"

Well that takes me back to High School French Camp!

Well this so-called Blog Outage is kinda driving me nuts, and my posts aren't really popping up in the correct chronological order, but he, I'm getting the responses like, "It feels like I'm right there with you!!" and that's what I wanted to hear! :) Ahem, it's tres' gorgeouss in the city du Paris! And when we were let loose to have some fun I went crazy at the Tour de Eiffel! Seriously folks, it's a work of art! Venez régaler vos yeux sur mes photos de la Tour Eiffel toujours étonnante! It's sort of a smug feeling conversing with the people of France, especially when we aare able to have pretty fluent conversations with them. Obviously they weren't expecting such things from a group of Americans. Although, they are however, quick to congradulat us on the election of President Obama. "Il est temps de vous les Américains ont voté Bush de bureau." *big sigh* Polotics.

Bonjour de Paris!

Bonjour chers amis! Mon groupe et moi avons fait en toute sécurité via Chunnel. Cela est certainement passionnant, je souhaite que nous avions chunnels aux États-Unis. (Comme' di chunnel?) Paris est à la façon dont ma mère et je l'espère, il serait. Nous sommes heureux de manger du thé sucré et des croissants au beurre pour le petit déjeuner. Il me manque terriblement de son, mais je peux entendre ma mère anglaise ridicule accent sur les rues. Et elle me fait sourire. Aujourd'hui cependant, je manquer. Mon coeur fait mal aujourd'hui. Avec l'amour et des caresses anglaise de moi à vous, chers amis. L'amour de votre ami, Katie

The scadal at le Louvre! (Quel h'oreur!)

Ah, le Mona Lisa! (until I got caught taking pictures...)

Préférez-vous écrire en anglais à nouveau? Bien, je suppose que je n'ai pas le choix ensuite.

Ce n'est que parce que Je t'aime. Well okay then, when we first arrived in Paris via chunnel, (which by the way is insanely AWESOME! A tad scary if you're slightly closterphobic, but fun nonetheless.) Anywho, it was sort of overcast and for a moment I was like, "Hey! I'm back in Seattle, whatdoya know!" Then it got sunny. Arc de Triomphe, here I come!

It's a long hard climb; but I'm gonna get there!

Did my other post seriously just upload?? Oh how I miss the oober fast speed my mac goes to, with my amazing super techsavvy brother would fix any problem I caused and answer any question I have. :) It's dinnertime! And it's been a loooong day. Gorgeous however, but long. We filmed on location today and my gosh, God hides his treasures everywhere. Boy it sure was beautiful, I didn't have the foggiest idea that it can be this beautiful along the coast of England. But at any rate, we hiked it! So to say and with cameras and heavy equipment and loose rocks and steep ravines and Gary joking around saying, "don't fall off!" and the professor from NYU that would glower at one of us every time we called him Gary instead of Mr. Nelson drove us nuts! Oh, by the way, its' really windy and I almost lost my camera because I didn't have it secured on its wrist strap. Why is it that the rich and mighty get to have all of these beautiful places to themselves? Actors buying their own islands, blocking off sections of land and putting up huge signs saying, "Private Property! Tresspassers WILL be punished!" Well what about the rest of the world that might like to enjoy these places? *le sigh* It's almost like I'm in Pirates of the Caribbean exploring the different islands. It's absolutely breath taking! But now, back in the comfort of our house with the weird toilets and apple butter on rye toast, it's raining. And the best thing to do when it's raining? Fight for the armchair by the window, turn the ipod to the "Enya playlist" and cozy on down for a short nap as the raindrops drizzle down the windowpane before we head to London for a night on the town. Hugs n' Kisses and love from England, Katie

It's too early for an Anderson to be up...

Well hello, hello there. I'm up, and no one else is. Well, I'm sure Gary and the other daults are, but kid wise, no-sir-e-bob! What is the deal yo? Last one to bed, first one to rise? Ad it's hecka early! And on another note this Internet is annoying. I've tried to post this entry 3 times but because we all have to share, people keep closing the laptop while my blog is still uploading!!!!! It's nice to be the only one up...granted it was 6am when I started writing this, so that means...you were all snug in bed!! I've been taking this quiet and spending it on time for myself, "ME" Time, as my mom would put it. I'm reading, "Glimpses of Heaven" and keeping up with the "Purpose Driven" journal. It's much smaller and much lighter then the book. :) And of course taking time to check in with God and my mom, because this is an amazing experience, but the parts on this trip that are truly making me gasp in awe and wonder are the beautiful creations from the land He has given me. It's truly awesome.
Know what else is awesome? The food. We're like the first group of kids in this tiny town that the women have seen since their own kids went off, so they leave basket after basket of bread, soups, fruits, veggies, and nuts on the doorstep of our house. Way to go moms!
So, you're all probably dying to know the juicey details on the film aren't ya?
Well, cycling through here are 6 weeks of students. I am part of week 3, there are 3 students from 3 different arts and film scools selected to fly out here and get in on the action. Week 3 consists of 9 students from Central Washington Univ, Pepperdine, and NYU. We have been split into 3 groups, and I am in group 2: Katie Anderson CWU/ Spencer Boggs P/ and Crystal Omen NYU and we are already having a blast.
We are gophering the production of an Indie (Independent) Foreign film. It is called ,"Homme de Dieu" which in English translates to "Man of God" it's a documentary with English actor, Sean Bean. For those of you that might not be able to put your finger on it, his claim to fame in America was his role as Boromir in The Lord of the Rings. Tomorrow my group gets to go to Paris since we are the 3 that can speak (almost) fluent french, so this will be a very fun experience!
Most of you know, but I missed meeting Mr. Blockbuster himself. Darn you Jerry Bruckheimer! I was still up in the air when he graced the production team with his presence. He is in Europe for the production of a movie of his own.
Come hither so I can brag about the man who never ceases to amaze me.
--->http://www.jbfilms.com/ just a heads up, he has to do everything BIG! So the sound just might blow you away. ;)
Though it's a bummer I missed him, lets not forget God is good! I have already met him at one of the Seattle International Film Festivals last spring and that was an amazing experience! Haha, that was a phone call that awaoke my mama from one of her looooooooong naps, "MOM! JERRY BRUCKHEIMER'S HERE!! Freak out moment!" "Stop freaking out, grab some of your work and go talk to the man!!" That's my mom for ya, and that introduction has probably changed my life.
Last night was the gala event where we all got to come together and socialize and converse with the people in our desired field, and you can bet that Imade quick friends with the screenwriters. This is only my 2nd full day here and I'm in awe and having a blast! I'm starting to feel that drive that I feel I've been lacking since my mother died. I'm going to be honest with you all, I've been plotting ways to go after Jerry instead of filming this measley foreign film, but "All things happej for a reason." as Jeannie Anderson would say, so Ii'm just going to have to grit my teeth and do this.
What a long post! Don't worry, I won't be offended if more then half of you don't even bother to read this. I'm off to film on locaion!!

Love, Katie

Does it bother anyone else that this Blogger doesn't have spellcheck? It's been driving me nuts!!

England

I am totally loving the country side, far more then my counterparts who are dying to be back in he hustle and bustle which is London. We'll be back there soon enough, for now, here is the freaking tiny house 9 college kids and all of their crap are being stuffed into for thenight. I shouldn't really complain though, the others who flew out on Sunday have been squished far longer then I have. And besides...

<----Check out that sweet garden!!

If you squint you can see my mom don't you think?

Cheerio from England. I arrived here at 9am and the current time is 3:30pm. o_O Here is a picture of the country side as we made our way to the coast of Hastings, which is where I reside as of now. If you look closely you can see the reflection of some very excited Americans in the glass. The only thing that would make this picture even better is some big wooley sheep. You know, the kind my mom would love. But this scene just brings to life the picture she put in my mind that England would look like. It is sunny here, but one can't be fooled, it's HECKA chilly!! But Gary says that's good filming weather. I wouldn't know. It's beautiful and peaceful here, if you just close your eyes for a moment and breathe in a big breath of fresh air...I feel my mother's presence here with me and the feeling is bittersweet. I love you woman. Well, you know I must be tired because I just crushed my hair clip. It looked like a ginormeous spider out of the corner of my eye. I can hear all of you mother's back home yelling, "Take a nap!!" Here at the coast of Hastings! It's even colder over here, you can see the sun seems to be going elswhere because it's a terd. No I am not going to go swim dad.
It's time to meet my group, so this update has to come to a close. Hugs and kisses from England!

This is my blog I will be updating during my time in Europe.

Arrivederci, au revior, see ya soon!

~ *~

It's hard to tell where the path of life will take me, but I can tell you, that by the grace of God, it will always take me home.

Love, Katie

Note: Picture taken by my beautiful cousin Lerin Herzer.