So I was totally excited cause I thought I saw Adam Lambert. (Could care less he's gay, he's still gorgeous. And if KE$HA got to kiss him well...okay, nevermind, he's gay.) Anywho, thought I saw him tonight on Hollywood Blvd. Get up close enough to him, and to my utmost disappointment, it's some korean dude. Shut up haters, I'm not being racist. His name is Huy Ho San or something like that. I guess he's a pretty big deal back in Asia and he's down here as a guest of honor at a convention. Okay, cool. No Adam Lambert, uncool.

Go Girl!

Well, here I am. I'm heading back down to LA and I'm super excited. Pissed about my final weigh in, fucking haters. I'm nervous about the alterations to my dress being f-ed up, although that's probably because of all the wedding horror stories I've watched on TLC. And I'm just tired of not feeling pretty. Damn you Hollywood. So, I'm off to go visit my daddy and then I'm off!! So long Seattle, LAX here I come!!

My dad's in rehab. My mom's birthday would have been this Friday, and I'm depressed.

I'm at it again. Retail therapy. Don't judge me. I'm coping.

Most people are born into a family with two parents. A mom and a dad. That's how it is. And these two people from then on out do all they can to love and protect you. Teach you how to grow and eventually spread your wings and fly on your own.
When one of those parents dies life goes helter-skelter for awhile. But not all is lost, for you still have the other parent who will be there to carry on. However, since you now only have essentially half of what you started with, you in know in the back of your mind that once the second parent passes away you will then be deemed...an orphan. And you dread the day something awful happens to the remaining parent.
So here I am. It's 19 months since I lost my mom, and now I am sitting in a hospital room waiting by my dads bedside. Though he does not have cancer like mom or any life threatening disease, he was not supposed to be here. I am not supposed to be here. This should not be happening. This should not have happened. But it did.

He gives & takes away

An e-mail was sent out today at 2:30am from a dear friend of mine, asking for prayers for her daughter. And then, exactly 2 hours later at 4:30am, the news came that her daughter lost her child. So quick. So fast. I don't understand, the only news I've heard as of late around me have been wedding announcements and/or the news of someone passing away. Either way, both situations make me miss my mama. One reminds me of how I know the same pain, and the other reminds me about how she won't be here for mine.

V-Day = Overrated

However, I did actually recieve a giant heart filled with Russel Stovers chocolate which did make my heart pretty happy. And the chocolates sure did look delectable, much like the ones you see here. BUT, lets be real here for a minute. More then half of them were dark chocolate and my stomach just can't handle dark, and then there's the ones with nuts, and I don't like nuts in chocolate, and then lastly; there's the fact that I don't even eat chocolate anymore. Pffft, I made it look all nice again and asked my most favorite boy in the world to be my Valentine instead....my brother!And whether it was his stomach or his heart talking, he said yes. (:

Now, I'm afraid I just don't give a damn about Valentine's Day. I'm not even too big on it when I've had a boyfriend on that day or not. It's not that I'm trying to be the Humbug of Valentine's Day ,I just think too many young people stress over today too much and it's not needed. But, just because I can, I'm going to tell you what I did today that I recommend if you don't have anyone today...

Hang out with 'all your single ladies' of course. That's what I did, we went and saw Valentines Day (great movie by the way), went out to dinner and shared all the meal deals for lovers (come on, they're less expensive, why not?), went dancing (and yes, Beyonce's "Single Ladies" was definitely one of the songs), and of course consumed [probably waaay too much] Valentin's Day bubbly. Mmmm, now that's how to celebrate V-Day.

My goodies.

Sometimes, I am such a girly-girl. Oh well, all girls get that right every now and then. (:

I'm back in the Emerald city. Quick trip, but that's the life my job throws at me. It's alright though, I've discovered I really like to travel which is definitely a good thing since I'll be doing a lot of it in 2010. Okay, so as soon as daddy got me home from the airport I discovered (er, he told me) that a[nother] package came for me while I was gone.

Drum roll please... MY BEAUTY SUPPLIES FINALLY CAME!! I'm so excited. My model mocha shimmer, rock icon fuchsia lipstick, amazing concealer, and as soon as I get my IQQU sunscreen and jasmine rice scrub my life will be complete!! Complete I say!! Wah-hahahahaha.

what's that you be jammin' to gurl?

Lady GaGa good sir. (:

Your lipstick stain... (beauty haul)

Because I can and because I want to. (:

My eye shadow - Urban Decay's 'silver & gunmetal' pallet

Eye drops for whiter (and clearer) eyes - Roto V eye drops

Lips - 'Intense moisture Candy Apple Red' by Juicy Couture

Mascara - 'Long Lengths' by Dior

Mascara overcoat - 'Lash Blast Shimmer' from Cover Girl

Face - Bare Minerals from Sephora

The bling - White House Black Market (Winter Sale!!)

My dress (yes, there is a dress) - H&M

Most unpleasant

Ugh. I hate it when I don't feel good. That's when life without my mom is the worst. I think I might have Acid Reflux. Gross. How am I supposed to enjoy this awesome trip if I'm in constant pain. BOO!!

So speaking of Vic...

HE JUST E-MAILED MEEEEEE!!

O.M.G!!!

He is the coolest guy ever.

Seriously, and his faith in God is amazing.

And he's really sweet to his fans and enjoys meeting them.

Damnit Vic.

Why must you be old enough to be my dad?

omg!

Okay, so I'm by no means an anime freak, and I'm the person that had to google what 'lol' stood for, but I'm in one of their ^_^ and *squeee! flapping my arms around* kind of mood. Why you might ask?

VIC MIGNOGNA is coming to SEATTLE!! Oh my freaking gosh I'm excited. He's like totally amazing and I could just faint right now in fangirl bliss. Actually, I think I will. Goodbye! *faints*

...Vic Mignogna = love... *back to fainting*

18 months

It seems like we just honored her on her 1 year marker, now 6 more months has already come and gone. I admit that yes, the pain isn't as sharp and intense, but the fact that the most important woman in my entire life is gone, that pain is still strong as ever.

It makes me so mad when I see other moms and daughters together on her anniversaries. I can handle the other days just fine, and usually take pleasure and relief seeing other moms and their daughters together. And I'm happy to see others with a relationship like the one I had with my mom. Can I say have still? Yes, yes I can.

My life is changing, faster and faster, and so many things are going through my mind that I need to talk to her about. Things that I want to talk to her about. Anniversary days like these, they are bittersweet. I wake up wanting and knowing to honor and remember her, and hit the pillow again at night with puffy red eyes wishing I could just screw it all and have my mom back.

I know I sound vain and full of it, but I had...have a truly amazing mom. I was so blessed, many young women can only dream of the mom that I had. She was just...amazing. So caring, so giving, so loving. And not just to Scotty and I, if she felt you needed a mom, or weren't getting enough love from the one you had, she'd love you. My mom, she was the best.

You were and always will be mama. I miss you with all my heart mommy, don't forget me.

Watty's 4mo. marker.

I Believe...Then End of a Decade

One day I'll hear, the laugh of children. In a world where war has been banned. One day I'll see men of all colors sharing words of love and devotion. Stand up and feel the Holy Spirit, find the power of your faith. Open your heart, to those in need, in the name of love and devotion. Yes, I believe.
I believe in the people of all nations to join and to care for love. I believe in a world where light will guide us. And giving our love we'll make Heaven on Earth.

I can't believe it's the end of another decade. Geez, I'm starting to feel old now that I'm starting to be able to say, "Yep, another decade." Yikes. I must say I'm sad to see this one go. I feel like with it's ending, it's taking the memories of my mama with it. I don't want to start a whole new decade without her.

I believe in the people of all nations to join and to care for love. I believe in a world where light will guide us. And giving our love we'll make Heaven on Earth.

But time keeps going. It knows no happiness or sadness, it just knows to keep going forward. It can't stop or slow down for anyone or anything. So in the words of my mama, "Here's to a better year." and to a better decade too mom. :) Yes.

I believe in the people of all nations to join and to care for love. I believe in a world where light will guide us. And giving our love we'll make Heaven on Earth.

I Believe...

Savvy! n' Irish

12-26 (again)

It's December 26th yet again, and 22 years ago I was born.

And 2 years ago today, I had a mom who made this day special.

I really truly loved my birthday until my mom died. I love Christmas, I always have. There have always been 3 days of nonstop Christmas fun that most other families don't have. Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and Katie's Birthday. In my mom's eyes that was nonstop party and boy was it great. I've been doing a lot better in the grieving department, and yesterday was absolutely bomb, but today has been hard. I mean, today is my birthday and my mom isn't here. Happy Birthday me.

Pro's: Dad, Scotty, and I (and a gorgeous picture of mom) had our family portrait today. :)

Con's: I look like crap!

Pro's: Mama Kim and Kayla took me out for a fun night.

Con's: Nine was really bad.

Pro's: Had a sleepover with the bestie the night before and a tasty birthday breakfast.

Con's: The bestie had to work on my freakin' birthday!!

Final pro (no con): My dad and brother made me a beautiful birthday cake and wonderful gifts.

Bless Us All

Life is full of sweet surprises. Everyday's a gift. The sun comes up and I can feel it lift my spirits. Fills me up with laughter. Fills me up with song. I look into the eyes of love and know that I belong. (Chorus) Bless us all, who gather here. The loving family I hold dear. No place on earth, compares with home. And every path will lead me back from where I roam. Bless us all, and as we live, we always comfort and forgive. We have so much, that we can share. With those in need we see around us everywhere. Let us always love each other, lead us to the light. Let us hear the voice of reason, singing in the night. Let us run from anger. And catch us when we fall. Teach us in our dreams and please, yes please, bless us one and all. Bless us all. With playful years. With noisy games and joyful tears. We reach for You, and we stand tall and in our prayers and dreams we ask You bless us all.

We reach for you. And we stand tall. And in our prayers and [Christmas] dreams, we ask You, bless us all.
Merry Christmas!
2009

The Christmas Wish

I don't know if you believe in Christmas. (At all.) Or if you have presents, underneath the Christmas tree. But if you believe in love, that will be more then enough for you to come and celebrate with me. For I have held the precious gift that love brings even though I never saw a Christmas star. For I know there is a light. I have felt it burn inside and I have seen it shining from a far. Christmas is the time to come together. A time to put all differences aside. And I reach out my hand, to the family of man, to share the joy I feel at Christmas time. For the truth that binds us all together. I would like to say a simple prayer. That at this special time, you will have true peace of mind, and love to last throughout the coming year.
And if you believe in love, that will be more then enough for peace to last throughout the year...and peace on earth shall last throughout the year.

Anderson family, I truly do love you.

Merry Christmas.

I saw three ships a sailing by. On Christmas day. On Christmas day. I saw three ships a sailing by, on Christmas day in the morning! (My mom would be lovin' these cookies right here. :)

Where would I be without either of 'em?

I've got my toes in the water. Bum in the sand. Not a worry in the world, a cold drink in my hand. Life is good today. Life is good today. (:

Adios en vaya con dios, yes I'm leaving today. And if it weren't for tequila and really hot senor-a's (lol) I'd have no reason to stay.

Adios en vaya con dios, yes I'm leaving today. Gonna lay in the hot sun, I'm ready for some fun, gotta grab my guitar and play.

Oh someone do me a favor, please pass me the Jager, and I'll grab my guitar and play.

(Or I'll just knock a few back with my girl Lindsey. If I can't be at the beach, this'll do just fine)

That's how mom would do it

Jeannie Anderson & Alice Rhoda's Chocolate Chip cookies

MIX

3 eggs

2 sticks of sweet cream butter

2 table spoons of vanilla

1 cup suger

1/2 cup brown sugar

ADD

3 cups flour

2 teaspoons salt

2/3 teaspoons cream of tar tar

ADD

1/2 cup chocolate chips

1/2 cup white chocolate chips

1/4 cup butterscotch chips

1/4 cup peanut butter chips

BAKE at 350

TIME it for 20 minutes

ENJOY

Oh mom would be proud

Santa bay-bay!

Now THAT'S one smart Santa. Although, he seems to be a bit of a lush. I say, he drank that lemon drop awfully fast. Oh Christmas, I look so much more forward to you this year. I am reclaiming my month. Here's to a better Christmas. Katie's back!!

The best music is the kind one creates themselves.

Today I sat down at our upright grand piano for the first time since my mother passed away. It was as if no time had passed at all. My fingers were gliding effortlessly across the keys as I played song after song. It was utterly fantastic. In the quiet of the night, with the house pretty much all to myself-there was only silence. Save for the hauntingly beautiful sound that piano makes as it fills the home and the heart with memories and sounds long missed.

I'm such a gluten