No Arms No Legs No Worries

Ohmygoodness, so many tears. This is just truly amazing and I just HAD to share it with the rest of you.

I'm in love LOVE!

Yeahhh, not really. I am however in love with love. I really should be fast asleep. I'm truly exhausted, I just got back from my trip but I can't sleep. I'm too giddy. Too in love with love. I've been reading lovey-dovey stories for hours!! I kid you not. I just love the butterflies my stomach gets when I read these type of stories. My favorite types are Reader Inserts. AHHH! I'm getting all happy just thinking about it. You can't go wrong with love.

Guilty. Beauty. Love.

What a crime...such a beautiful crime... HEY Y'ALL GUESS WHAT?! This little posty-post is really just an advertisement for a Beaty Blog that I created! Seriously, you have no idea how excited I am about this blog. The idea pretty much hit me in the head (literally) and I was like, "Yeah, I don't have to be a skinny minnie to know beauty. Let alone be beautiful. So 'Guilty. Beauty. Love.' was born. I have great plans for 'GBL' and I'm hoping it will make a difference in at least one other girl's life. (Or guy, because they're gorgeous too.) So here's my link, enjoy!! *poof* ---> http://krazylikekt.tumblr.com/

Bliss.

Tonight as I got home pretty late from a wedding for yet another friend of mine I pulled into the driveway to find the house completely dark at 11:30 at night. No Acura in the driveway. Dad was still out, and Scotty was at a friend's house. So I call up my daddy and he tells me he's at the cove. He's watching the stars, looking out for shooting stars (since he's never seen one) and wanted to know if I'd come join him since Scotty was apparently on his way. I totally obliged. So I jet inside, grab Mojo and a blanket, and my brother who is almost home and we pack up my 'stang and join dad at the cove.
So here's my favorite part. Picture the big toy at the cove. My dad is laying on the slide, Mojo is on the 1st level, I'm on the top level, and Scotty is laying on his back on the rocks. And we're all looking up at the stars together, talking, laughing, catching up, throwing rocks (that would be dad and Scotty) and then mom sent us a shooting star. And she even sent one to dad prior to our arrival. He was so excited. We stayed out till 2 in the morning. I will never forget tonight. This was truly bliss.

Because I Should.

I'm always sighing over my lost love who is Watson, and I will always miss him and remember, but I really should remember to brag a little about my new love. Another love of mine because he is such a joy and a blessing. And he's the first of his kind in the Anderson household. My miniature schnauzer Mojo!! I love him.

2 years mama.

July 22, 2010
"And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son."
1 John 5:11


And for that very reason I know for a fact that my mom is in a far better, more beautiful, amazing place with no more pain, her cancer is gone and her soul is at peace. It doesn't make life down here without her any better, but it does make it a little easier.

She passed away 2 years ago today. I love you mama.

My best friends wedding.

I used to look at clouds that way

Today is my grandad's 90th birthday.
And I would truly be a fool if I didn't say I miss him.
But I am definitely his granddaughter for we are both stubborn.
And neither one of us is going to give in just yet.
But I did send him a card.
And the lyrics to our song.
Happy Birthday grandad.
I love you.

Today was an amazing day. It started on the Oregon Coast and ended as a complete circle leading me home.
As we were out on the Astoria bridge, we looked over and saw a seagull gliding in the breeze right next to us. The shine was shining down on only us it seemed. The ocean now far to the west and the river down tot he east were dark grey, black, and blue, but where we were was sun. Like Heaven itself opened up. And in good company, fun music, and the wheels of my car touch back on Washington soil, a beautiful vibrant rainbow showed itself. My mom showed herself. Just to say a quick hello and let me know she's still there. "I love you." I could hear her say. And the tears fell, and I welcomed them.
Rainbows. What an amazing gift they are. God is truly good. But I honestly believe he let me mama have the brush, cause trust me, if you were her child too, you would know that she always made her rainbows look that way. And as soon as it appeared, it was gone.

Giant Double Rainbow (A YouTube Sensation)

And in my opinion it's finally a sensation on the YT worth passing on. So this guy who was awesome enough to share this gift from God with the world pretty much has gotten a lot of crap. And while it's true that he's a bit...crazy and totally excited, I see no wrong in any of it. Rainbows are breath taking and beautiful. They stop you in your tracks and remind you that everything will be okay, they are God's way of telling us He's still there.

1 year and 11 months

Today marks the 11 month since my mama went Home. We were all given a spectacular gorgeous sunny day today with a sunset that swept the clouds over the water and everything had a tint of gold it seemed. Like Heaven itself opened up for a small while to remind us all still down here that those we love are not entirely gone.
A few tears were shed today. I think tears will always fall, for the rest of my life I'm sure. But they aren't "my life is hopeless" tears. They are "I miss you, but I cherish my memories of you" tears. I don't know, you will just have to go through this yourself I'm afraid.
I love you mama, and I miss you.

I haven't seen one in awhile, but today I saw two!! A young woman was up on Olive Way (downtown Seattle) today the same time as me. I was grabbing a quick cup of coffee and happened to glance out the window as she walked by with her two westies. Tears quickly sprang to my eyes and I let them fall. And as soon as I gave into the tinge of sadness, the memory of my little Watson was gone. He may no longer be on this earth, but he is certainly not forgotten.

ps. I just had to add, is he not a cutie? And those weird looking things are my feet. Gross, but this pictures was just an average day for us. Me sitting on my bed [attempting] some homework and my loyal westie sitting on me the entire time. To this day I still scratch my head and wonder how I finished college. Playing with Watty was so much more fun.

Got lost today in a world of books, I cannot tell you how long I spent in the store, but it was wonderful.
The smell of old leather bound books, the unspoken agreement of friendly silence between the lovers of books.
There really is nothing like getting lost in a good book.

Let if fall like rain (As long as it's in Heaven's name)

Today as I was out on a run with my dog Mojo it was so humid and muggy. I was getting pretty hot and flushed and just 'erg!' and totally tired and unhappy. Finally as I came back down around the point and was right alongside the water I just threw my arms back and lifted my hands, and asked God for some rain. "Let it fall God!" And I was answered. And it felt so good. So cleansing. I seriously felt like crying. The tiny droplets on my skin and the amazing feeling you get when you are taking care of your body. The feeling of all the sweat and dirt washing off my body, I was so overwhelmed with the joy of knowing that this is how it is as a Christian. God washes away all of the 'dirt' and 'gunk' on our outside and in. Because He loves us so much. It's funny because I thought that after 18 months since my mama went Home that my heart would be totally healed. I was definitely wrong. Then I became drastically discouraged because I thought I was spiraling out of control because my heart wasn't completely healed. So many things have been falling together the more I've turned to Him. My Savior. My heart is healing, I'm not afraid of life anymore without my mom. I'm not afraid to keep going, His Heavenly rain has washed all those thoughts away. I'm not afraid. I'm okay. I'm healing. I'm okay. I will be okay. I am okay. Continue to wash me in your Heavenly, healing rain Jesus. Let it rain.

Healing rain, is coming down.
It's coming closer, to the lost and found.
Tears of joy, and tears of shame.
Are forever washed in Heaven's name.

Healing rain is falling down.
Healing rain is falling down.
I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid.

Stretch those limbs.

So latching onto the entry from yesterday, I always get a pick-me-up after spending time with my Aunty Janet and cuz Tawny. So I hit the gym today and it absolutely kicked my ass. Phew, no joke. Although, I have to give myself some credit, I pushed myself pretty hard too. (: The family is such a great support, I could go run a marathon with all the encouragement they give me.

I was SO kidding about the marathon.

red wine, warm sun, new babies, hot cars, good company.

That pretty much sums up my day today with my Anderson side. It was great. I'm still bummedScotty-boy had too much homework, but I had fun with my dad. We hopped in the stang and took off. And wouldn't you know it, while it's shitty in Seattle, it's gorgeous in Bremerton. I got to meet my little cuz for the first time since he was born. Stryker Emil Anderson. He's just to adorable. o.m.f.g. I can't recall the last time I got to hold a baby, it was just so, 'AHH!' I kept worrying I was going to break him or something. And Heaven forbid Tawny going more then 2 feet away from me, (which one's the baby again?) I really missed my mom every now and then. She would have loved practicing the great-aunt thing for awhile before she got to be 'nana' like she wanted. Although, there's no point in saying she wasn't there. She was definitely in that house. I know it.I love this side of my family. I really see what it means to be a family when I'm with them, and I just feel like this is where I was always meant to be.

No does not mean never.

Funny how my mothers words always seep into my being when it tends to be important. It's a bit comical actually. She lets me go along and make the little mistakes, scrape up my knees, toughen myself up, and just learn, but when she's had enough of me doing the same dumb-young person thing all over again she steps in. I can hear her now, "Okay Katie girl, that's enough."

To my fellow fashionistas and big spenders...I just said no to a gorgeous Micheal Kors jacket. I have plenty of life left within me, there will be more MK jackets.

There! Are you proud of me mama?

Yes. Yes she is. (:

MY NEW RIDE!!

Hot dawg, check it out!! My dad is fantastically awesome. He found this absolutely HOT...drum roll please...Ford Mustang!!! It's a 2005 (but I keep getting asked if it's a 2010) with only 26,000 miles on it. His color is called 'Redfire' sexy huh? I know. And the best part of all...I bought him myself. (With some awesome negotiating help fro the daddy) but the money is mine and I bought. The title is in my name and everything. I am totally in love. So come on now, say hello to my new 'Stang. Ask me for a ride sometime, you've gotta here the horses.

April 15th

Today is my parents 32nd wedding anniversary. And yes, I still say it as so. Even when my daddy is gone, today will always hold a special dear place in my heart. It reminds me that someday I will get married and have a wedding of my own. No matter how down I feel about being single right now. Because I had...no, I have the most amazing woman of prayer as my mom. The moment she held me for the first time she prayed for my future husband. I am holding on to the hope that she still is praying for him. I always loved hearing about y parents wedding day. It sounded like such a beautiful and perfect day. From the pictures I've seen, my dad was absolutely handsome, and my mama? Well, she was nothing short of breathtaking. Today I remember. There are tears and memories. And a sunset dinner, in honor of my mama. And I sure had a lot of fun pushing my dad around in his wheelchair at the marina. Mom gave us an absolutely amazing sunset of course.

And what do ya know, today of all days, this is the daily bible verse I received.
April 15, 2010
You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary.
Revelation 2:3

How can you not believe?

I'm back from my 1st SakuraCon!

And it sure ain't my last. I'm (im)patiently awaiting registration for 2011!!
Who knew that I'd embrace my inner Otaku. :3

So I was totally excited cause I thought I saw Adam Lambert. (Could care less he's gay, he's still gorgeous. And if KE$HA got to kiss him well...okay, nevermind, he's gay.) Anywho, thought I saw him tonight on Hollywood Blvd. Get up close enough to him, and to my utmost disappointment, it's some korean dude. Shut up haters, I'm not being racist. His name is Huy Ho San or something like that. I guess he's a pretty big deal back in Asia and he's down here as a guest of honor at a convention. Okay, cool. No Adam Lambert, uncool.

Go Girl!

Well, here I am. I'm heading back down to LA and I'm super excited. Pissed about my final weigh in, fucking haters. I'm nervous about the alterations to my dress being f-ed up, although that's probably because of all the wedding horror stories I've watched on TLC. And I'm just tired of not feeling pretty. Damn you Hollywood. So, I'm off to go visit my daddy and then I'm off!! So long Seattle, LAX here I come!!

My dad's in rehab. My mom's birthday would have been this Friday, and I'm depressed.

I'm at it again. Retail therapy. Don't judge me. I'm coping.

Most people are born into a family with two parents. A mom and a dad. That's how it is. And these two people from then on out do all they can to love and protect you. Teach you how to grow and eventually spread your wings and fly on your own.
When one of those parents dies life goes helter-skelter for awhile. But not all is lost, for you still have the other parent who will be there to carry on. However, since you now only have essentially half of what you started with, you in know in the back of your mind that once the second parent passes away you will then be deemed...an orphan. And you dread the day something awful happens to the remaining parent.
So here I am. It's 19 months since I lost my mom, and now I am sitting in a hospital room waiting by my dads bedside. Though he does not have cancer like mom or any life threatening disease, he was not supposed to be here. I am not supposed to be here. This should not be happening. This should not have happened. But it did.

He gives & takes away

An e-mail was sent out today at 2:30am from a dear friend of mine, asking for prayers for her daughter. And then, exactly 2 hours later at 4:30am, the news came that her daughter lost her child. So quick. So fast. I don't understand, the only news I've heard as of late around me have been wedding announcements and/or the news of someone passing away. Either way, both situations make me miss my mama. One reminds me of how I know the same pain, and the other reminds me about how she won't be here for mine.

V-Day = Overrated

However, I did actually recieve a giant heart filled with Russel Stovers chocolate which did make my heart pretty happy. And the chocolates sure did look delectable, much like the ones you see here. BUT, lets be real here for a minute. More then half of them were dark chocolate and my stomach just can't handle dark, and then there's the ones with nuts, and I don't like nuts in chocolate, and then lastly; there's the fact that I don't even eat chocolate anymore. Pffft, I made it look all nice again and asked my most favorite boy in the world to be my Valentine instead....my brother!And whether it was his stomach or his heart talking, he said yes. (:

Now, I'm afraid I just don't give a damn about Valentine's Day. I'm not even too big on it when I've had a boyfriend on that day or not. It's not that I'm trying to be the Humbug of Valentine's Day ,I just think too many young people stress over today too much and it's not needed. But, just because I can, I'm going to tell you what I did today that I recommend if you don't have anyone today...

Hang out with 'all your single ladies' of course. That's what I did, we went and saw Valentines Day (great movie by the way), went out to dinner and shared all the meal deals for lovers (come on, they're less expensive, why not?), went dancing (and yes, Beyonce's "Single Ladies" was definitely one of the songs), and of course consumed [probably waaay too much] Valentin's Day bubbly. Mmmm, now that's how to celebrate V-Day.

My goodies.

Sometimes, I am such a girly-girl. Oh well, all girls get that right every now and then. (:

I'm back in the Emerald city. Quick trip, but that's the life my job throws at me. It's alright though, I've discovered I really like to travel which is definitely a good thing since I'll be doing a lot of it in 2010. Okay, so as soon as daddy got me home from the airport I discovered (er, he told me) that a[nother] package came for me while I was gone.

Drum roll please... MY BEAUTY SUPPLIES FINALLY CAME!! I'm so excited. My model mocha shimmer, rock icon fuchsia lipstick, amazing concealer, and as soon as I get my IQQU sunscreen and jasmine rice scrub my life will be complete!! Complete I say!! Wah-hahahahaha.

what's that you be jammin' to gurl?

Lady GaGa good sir. (:

Your lipstick stain... (beauty haul)

Because I can and because I want to. (:

My eye shadow - Urban Decay's 'silver & gunmetal' pallet

Eye drops for whiter (and clearer) eyes - Roto V eye drops

Lips - 'Intense moisture Candy Apple Red' by Juicy Couture

Mascara - 'Long Lengths' by Dior

Mascara overcoat - 'Lash Blast Shimmer' from Cover Girl

Face - Bare Minerals from Sephora

The bling - White House Black Market (Winter Sale!!)

My dress (yes, there is a dress) - H&M

Most unpleasant

Ugh. I hate it when I don't feel good. That's when life without my mom is the worst. I think I might have Acid Reflux. Gross. How am I supposed to enjoy this awesome trip if I'm in constant pain. BOO!!

So speaking of Vic...

HE JUST E-MAILED MEEEEEE!!

O.M.G!!!

He is the coolest guy ever.

Seriously, and his faith in God is amazing.

And he's really sweet to his fans and enjoys meeting them.

Damnit Vic.

Why must you be old enough to be my dad?

omg!

Okay, so I'm by no means an anime freak, and I'm the person that had to google what 'lol' stood for, but I'm in one of their ^_^ and *squeee! flapping my arms around* kind of mood. Why you might ask?

VIC MIGNOGNA is coming to SEATTLE!! Oh my freaking gosh I'm excited. He's like totally amazing and I could just faint right now in fangirl bliss. Actually, I think I will. Goodbye! *faints*

...Vic Mignogna = love... *back to fainting*

18 months

It seems like we just honored her on her 1 year marker, now 6 more months has already come and gone. I admit that yes, the pain isn't as sharp and intense, but the fact that the most important woman in my entire life is gone, that pain is still strong as ever.

It makes me so mad when I see other moms and daughters together on her anniversaries. I can handle the other days just fine, and usually take pleasure and relief seeing other moms and their daughters together. And I'm happy to see others with a relationship like the one I had with my mom. Can I say have still? Yes, yes I can.

My life is changing, faster and faster, and so many things are going through my mind that I need to talk to her about. Things that I want to talk to her about. Anniversary days like these, they are bittersweet. I wake up wanting and knowing to honor and remember her, and hit the pillow again at night with puffy red eyes wishing I could just screw it all and have my mom back.

I know I sound vain and full of it, but I had...have a truly amazing mom. I was so blessed, many young women can only dream of the mom that I had. She was just...amazing. So caring, so giving, so loving. And not just to Scotty and I, if she felt you needed a mom, or weren't getting enough love from the one you had, she'd love you. My mom, she was the best.

You were and always will be mama. I miss you with all my heart mommy, don't forget me.

Watty's 4mo. marker.