I Believe...Then End of a Decade

One day I'll hear, the laugh of children. In a world where war has been banned. One day I'll see men of all colors sharing words of love and devotion. Stand up and feel the Holy Spirit, find the power of your faith. Open your heart, to those in need, in the name of love and devotion. Yes, I believe.
I believe in the people of all nations to join and to care for love. I believe in a world where light will guide us. And giving our love we'll make Heaven on Earth.

I can't believe it's the end of another decade. Geez, I'm starting to feel old now that I'm starting to be able to say, "Yep, another decade." Yikes. I must say I'm sad to see this one go. I feel like with it's ending, it's taking the memories of my mama with it. I don't want to start a whole new decade without her.

I believe in the people of all nations to join and to care for love. I believe in a world where light will guide us. And giving our love we'll make Heaven on Earth.

But time keeps going. It knows no happiness or sadness, it just knows to keep going forward. It can't stop or slow down for anyone or anything. So in the words of my mama, "Here's to a better year." and to a better decade too mom. :) Yes.

I believe in the people of all nations to join and to care for love. I believe in a world where light will guide us. And giving our love we'll make Heaven on Earth.

I Believe...

Savvy! n' Irish

12-26 (again)

It's December 26th yet again, and 22 years ago I was born.

And 2 years ago today, I had a mom who made this day special.

I really truly loved my birthday until my mom died. I love Christmas, I always have. There have always been 3 days of nonstop Christmas fun that most other families don't have. Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and Katie's Birthday. In my mom's eyes that was nonstop party and boy was it great. I've been doing a lot better in the grieving department, and yesterday was absolutely bomb, but today has been hard. I mean, today is my birthday and my mom isn't here. Happy Birthday me.

Pro's: Dad, Scotty, and I (and a gorgeous picture of mom) had our family portrait today. :)

Con's: I look like crap!

Pro's: Mama Kim and Kayla took me out for a fun night.

Con's: Nine was really bad.

Pro's: Had a sleepover with the bestie the night before and a tasty birthday breakfast.

Con's: The bestie had to work on my freakin' birthday!!

Final pro (no con): My dad and brother made me a beautiful birthday cake and wonderful gifts.

Bless Us All

Life is full of sweet surprises. Everyday's a gift. The sun comes up and I can feel it lift my spirits. Fills me up with laughter. Fills me up with song. I look into the eyes of love and know that I belong. (Chorus) Bless us all, who gather here. The loving family I hold dear. No place on earth, compares with home. And every path will lead me back from where I roam. Bless us all, and as we live, we always comfort and forgive. We have so much, that we can share. With those in need we see around us everywhere. Let us always love each other, lead us to the light. Let us hear the voice of reason, singing in the night. Let us run from anger. And catch us when we fall. Teach us in our dreams and please, yes please, bless us one and all. Bless us all. With playful years. With noisy games and joyful tears. We reach for You, and we stand tall and in our prayers and dreams we ask You bless us all.

We reach for you. And we stand tall. And in our prayers and [Christmas] dreams, we ask You, bless us all.
Merry Christmas!
2009

The Christmas Wish

I don't know if you believe in Christmas. (At all.) Or if you have presents, underneath the Christmas tree. But if you believe in love, that will be more then enough for you to come and celebrate with me. For I have held the precious gift that love brings even though I never saw a Christmas star. For I know there is a light. I have felt it burn inside and I have seen it shining from a far. Christmas is the time to come together. A time to put all differences aside. And I reach out my hand, to the family of man, to share the joy I feel at Christmas time. For the truth that binds us all together. I would like to say a simple prayer. That at this special time, you will have true peace of mind, and love to last throughout the coming year.
And if you believe in love, that will be more then enough for peace to last throughout the year...and peace on earth shall last throughout the year.

Anderson family, I truly do love you.

Merry Christmas.

I saw three ships a sailing by. On Christmas day. On Christmas day. I saw three ships a sailing by, on Christmas day in the morning! (My mom would be lovin' these cookies right here. :)

Where would I be without either of 'em?

I've got my toes in the water. Bum in the sand. Not a worry in the world, a cold drink in my hand. Life is good today. Life is good today. (:

Adios en vaya con dios, yes I'm leaving today. And if it weren't for tequila and really hot senor-a's (lol) I'd have no reason to stay.

Adios en vaya con dios, yes I'm leaving today. Gonna lay in the hot sun, I'm ready for some fun, gotta grab my guitar and play.

Oh someone do me a favor, please pass me the Jager, and I'll grab my guitar and play.

(Or I'll just knock a few back with my girl Lindsey. If I can't be at the beach, this'll do just fine)

That's how mom would do it

Jeannie Anderson & Alice Rhoda's Chocolate Chip cookies

MIX

3 eggs

2 sticks of sweet cream butter

2 table spoons of vanilla

1 cup suger

1/2 cup brown sugar

ADD

3 cups flour

2 teaspoons salt

2/3 teaspoons cream of tar tar

ADD

1/2 cup chocolate chips

1/2 cup white chocolate chips

1/4 cup butterscotch chips

1/4 cup peanut butter chips

BAKE at 350

TIME it for 20 minutes

ENJOY

Oh mom would be proud

Santa bay-bay!

Now THAT'S one smart Santa. Although, he seems to be a bit of a lush. I say, he drank that lemon drop awfully fast. Oh Christmas, I look so much more forward to you this year. I am reclaiming my month. Here's to a better Christmas. Katie's back!!

The best music is the kind one creates themselves.

Today I sat down at our upright grand piano for the first time since my mother passed away. It was as if no time had passed at all. My fingers were gliding effortlessly across the keys as I played song after song. It was utterly fantastic. In the quiet of the night, with the house pretty much all to myself-there was only silence. Save for the hauntingly beautiful sound that piano makes as it fills the home and the heart with memories and sounds long missed.

I'm such a gluten

"Let me be your wings. Let me be your only love. Let me take you far beyond the stars. Anything that you desire, anything at all. Everyday I'll take you higher, and I'll never let you fall. Heaven isn't too far. Heaven is where you are. Fly with me and let me be your wings.
~ * ~
Geez, I'm almost 22 and still madly in love with the idea of a happily ever after. I always loved the thought of being swept away by the man of my freams. But I don't believe in that stuff anymore. I think my mom passing away did that. Not having the one here who said it was okay to believe does that.
~ * ~
Someone...please...be my wings...

One Month already?

I can't believe you've already been gone a whole month. It's so unfair. I love Mojo to pieces, but you were one of a kind Watson. I love you little man. Today I remember you. Till we meet again little guy. I love you westie! I love you.

When Death comes knocking...

Another life has been taken today while another life hangs on. A mother in shock. A sister whose life has just been shattered. A father trying to keep his remaining family members together.And friends and loved ones stuck feeling helpless. Speaking fro experience, both roles are incredibly horrible to have to go through.

[Edit: My Follow Up]
I can't even begin to imagine the horrible phone call or knock at your door and having an officer of the law tell you the tragic news that someone you love deeply, has been killed. I now know way too many who have experienced this horrible pain. And it gets me thinking. The way my mom died was a true blessing. I got to say goodbye and tell her how much I love her and that I'd miss her dearly. I got in plenty of hugs and kisses (though it's never truly enough) and when she let go, she was surrounded by family and friends with a smile on her face. It doesn't make the fact that she's gone any less unbearable, but we as humans care so uch about the ending. And I know now, that I am very, very lucky.

Still searching...

But someday, I'll find you.

It's a really great feeling when someone you admire has such a strong passion and faith for the Lord. I love how he shares the journey of his life and love for Jesus through music. I have spent most of this night immersing myself in his songs. Such great lyrics, I love words. Instruments. Tempos and duets. I love songs that grab and hold onto the different emotions. I love lyrics in the English language as well as Italian, French, and Japanese. I love nights like these, while the rain pours down outside and I am warm inside, with some Vanilla-Chai tea and music by Vic Mignogna.



Forgive and forget, that’s what they say. It’s good advice but it's not very practical. When someone hurts us we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us we want to be right. Without forgiveness old scores are never settled, old wounds never heal, and the most we can hope for is that one day we will be lucky enough to forget. And in life only one thing is certain; apart from death and taxes; no matter how hard you try, no matter how good your intentions, you're going to make mistakes. You're going to hurt people, you're going to get hurt, and if you ever want to recover there's really only one thing you can say. "I forgive you."

I love falling asleep to the quiet drops of rain outside my bedroom window. It is both peaceful and comforting. And cleansing.

Finding my Mojo

Mojo the mini schnauzer that is! My dad and I just got him from the Kitsap Humane Society yesterday and it was love at first sight for both of us. He's no Watson, but he's filling the hole in my heart that misses and longs for it's westie. I know both my mom and Watty want me to smile again and Mojo has caused me to do just that. :)

The time to start is now. (So DO something!!)

I run and run a thousand miles. And now I'm barely breathing. Only the fuel of a "passioned" heart, keeps this body strong and moving forward. But could it be I've found a place to rest, how far until I'm okay? Trees of the town reveal the time has come; once again to shift our shade and colors. The world always changes around us, but weakness will always remain. Through all the pain. Believe in; who we are right here and now. Raise one hand to the sky lift them both raise them high!- and you'll cut through the darkness, make it it go! The time to start is now. And I can show you how. Start with me and the world will be even bigger then ever before.

Ah, what a good pick-me-up considering the last few days have been very down. Hello world, I'm back!

Warning: Topic is upsetting.

Rather then humankind, it should be humanUNkind. I have been working with 'VideoVounteers' outreach for Animals on YouTube (by the way, we are now also outreaching to those who are in need of food and shelter...World Hunger. Yes! Support!) and I just happened to watch what I thought was another 'tear jerker' video about awareness on animal abuse. There was no graphic warning in the description. What I just witnessed tonight was one of the most heartbreaking things I have ever seen. Not to mention it caused me to puke (and I closed my eyes and fast forwarded too, but trust me, it wasn't too hard to figure out what was happening.)
WARNING! Please do NOT continue reading if you do not to hear about gore. WARNING!
I view animals like I do children. Seriously. to me, they have this in common;they are both defenseless and innocent. They are harmed at the hands of stupid adults with no way to really defend themselves, and no real understanding of why these things are happening to them. SICK! A dog being beaten because kids find it humorous and then being killed by authorities because it attacked the stupid shits. Another dog being starved to death because it's a form of art. For four days this creature is tied to a post, starved of food and water while local "artists" admire the "artwork" until it dies. A kitten...a KITTEN, an adorable little life who just wants to be loved is decapitated while it is still alive. And the sickos who catch these horrific events on film just watch and do nothing. This America, is NOT OKAY!! I know it's horrifying to even think about, but it's the cold hard truth people. And there are children around the world that are experiencing horrific torture like this too. It's heartbreaking!! It's cruel! It's disgusting!! And it brings tears to my eyes for I know what I witnessed tonight will stick with me for a long time. But if we all just turn the other way... hello! That doesn't solve anything people. Wake up America, it's a cruel world I know, but that doesn't mean we can't at least make a difference in one life!
"I must ask, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man. To this, the little boy replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die." Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!" Discouraged he began to walk away. Suddenly the little boy bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "It made a difference for that one."
I love animals. Cats, dogs, birds, guinea pigs, turtles, elephants, seals, you name it. God, love the dear animals and children who are being mistreated, beaten, starved, neglected. When their lives are taken meet them at the gate and take their pain and suffering away and love them. Do not let the wicked and the sinful win. I am one person, but I can make a difference. And I will. May at least one life be better by me.

Rant

I seriously HATE being the only girl. I hate it that my mom is gone. I hate that I'm stuck living with 2 guys who pretty much have the 'whatever' attitude. I hate that I worry about them more then they know or care. I hate that one and I are always bickering about the dumbest shit and the other one could care less that I'm here or not. I just hate my life without my mom. I really hate life without my Watson. I've gotten used to nights like these where I'm sick and tired of the family situation I'm in and not have my mom here...sort of. Up until a couple weeks ago, I could just go into my room, close my door, collapse on my bed and get showered by kisses. Whether I was right or wrong; Watson loved me. Now I'm just stuck sitting here in my room by myself in the dark, wishing my unconditional kisses would come. But they won't come. Never again. I HATE this,

Good conversations.

Today as I walked along the marina after visiting with good friends, I passed 2 young boys. This was their conversation,
Boy 1: "Your mom lied to you. We don't see our pets in Heaven."
Boy 2: "So I won't see my kitty...again?"
Boy 1: "Nope."
Insert tears from Boy 2. Stupid kids. Stupid humans, why are we all so mean to one another? However, there is hope. And tonight, the hope I needed came in the form of my dad. I told him of this conversation I overheard and what he said next was like my mom was herself was sitting in the room. And note; my dad's faith in the Lord has been very rocky. Lets face it, he has every right for that. [I cannot imagine losing the love of my life to a killer (cancer) I could not protect them from. So my dad has been truly amazing.]
"They say that when we get to Heaven; people will know more happiness then they ever knew here on earth. And pets make us happy. So, there is no reason, our pets won't be there to greet us when we get there."
Isn't my dad cool? Those words were just what I needed, the fact that the words just came so freely. Do you remember when you were a child and everything your parents did and said was amazing to you? That was my experience tonight. What a great moment. I love my dad.

Let it heal

I am usually the last person whose a fan of Halloween. I do not like violence, horror, gore, I don't like scary movies' I hate them. I have the artistic mind that can't shake things easily. I usually hate the cold damp night that Halloween is up here in Seattle. The carved pumpkins are already getting mushy, and it's so cold the trick-or-treaters have to wear jackets over their costumes and that spoils the fun. But today has been gorgeous. Golden actually. The sun came out and people were happy. I saw a westie today on a walk with his owner. So cute. So happy, waddling around with his little head and tail held high, and the girl walking him and sometimes just carrying simply because of the obvious love she has for her dog. And I silently watched them walk by right as they both happened to look at one another. And there it was. Nothing. But. Love. Oh the girl and her westie; there's no friendship like it.

And the heart heals.

A little bit of therapy goes a long way...

'Retail Therapy' that is.
Mom loved it. Dad hates it. I enjoy it. The sound of plastic and the 'cha-ching' of the register. Two sounds I like to hear. Don't hate. Don't judge. Everyone has some sort of guilty pleasure. I am [obviously] no exception. To each their own, when you are grieving just try to do something that makes you happy.

Nothing in my life seems to be going the right way. Which, in reality is bull crap, because I actually have quite a lot going for me. I know this. I've been told this. I've also been told to stop having this 'pity party' and that make my blood boil. I'm only human, we are all that way to some extent. But, I know in my heart of hearts, that I should.
"I'm here on the edge again, I wish I could let it go..."

I know when I am in trouble, when I am hurting, when I am afraid and feel like my world is crashing down on me-turn to God. He is the way, the truth and the light. He gives and takes away and loves us unconditionally, even when we do not love Him. But boy, does He ever take away. I must say I truly hate Him right now. Losing Watson opened up the [once] healing wound from the loss of my mama, and I feel the pain and dispair all over again. I hate Him. I do, but yet, I really need Him.
"All my agony fades away, when you hold me in your embrace..."

I have learned that the world is just truly cruel and evil. And it feels like I'm drowning, I'm suffering. Like there's no way out. I mean, how unfair is it that someone can be so hurt, lose so much, have so much loss in their life and look out their window and see that the rest of the worls has kept going.
"Don't tear me down, for all I need.
Make my heart a better place.
Give me something I can believe.
Don't tear it down, what's left of me.
Make my heart a better place..."

The world does not care that you hurt. People may not care that you hurt. But know this, no one is ever alone. I know this, I cherish it, and I hold onto it with all I have.
"Don't tear me down, what's left of me.
Make my heart a better place...make my heart a better place..."

His ashes came today.
And my heart is breaking all over again.
Watson.

Brave

Dear Scotty,
You are such an amazing (and handsome) young man.
I know it's just how October falls on the calendar, but you have to go through your birthday first.
And you do it so well.
You are a man of few words, but she loved that about you; the strong, silent, ever knowing type.
I love you kid, I could never ask for a more amazing and wonderful brother.
Happy Birthday, you are growing up into a fine man, she's so proud of you, you know.
And so am I.

10-25-1992>> One of the best days of my life.

You'll be there with me.

Today, I went to the Oregon Coast.
Watson was right there with me.
My little shadow, just protecting, just loving. Me. He was there with me today, he always will be.

"Hey soul sister!"

Just walking in this shell of a body.
Unsure of things now. Confidence lacking.
Emotions tied to music, not feeling, not caring.
Sad, angry, alone, depressed.
Without a mom. Without a loyal canine.
Just living until I can't anymore.
But, still refusing to give up.

Little westipoo...I'm lonely.
There are crumbs from my saltine crackers you need to nibble on.
Homework is much more daunting without you snuggled up against me.
I am more envious then happy for the people I see holding their dogs tight.
I still can't think about you without being sad.
Wattybah, I love you little man.

He'll greet me when I get There...

I had really hoped a miracle would happen. But Watson...is gone. God, you have really taken him Home haven't you? My heart is breaking all over again. There is truly no pain like the pain you feel when you lose someone you love and care about so deeply. I will continue to praise you anyway Lord. Thank you, thank you, thank you for sending him to me. I will treasure every memory. Thank you Watty. I love you so much.

WATSON!! :'(

This morning when I woke up my west highland white terrier was being extra lovey. More kisses, more tail wagging, more snuggles and love. We had breakfast together, we sat and read together. Then he wanted to go outside like always. I opened the door, he ran out, poked his little head back in and looked at me. I smiled. And that was the last time I saw my Watson alive.
My westie was hit by a car today...

DENNIS!!

I haven't seen this friend of mine in 6 years. I'm SO glad he's here for a visit. I've missed him so much. He was the german exchange student that our neighbors down the street were the host family for, and he also went to HHS, and of course we clicked and became really good friends. Unfortunately, he and his host family wanted him to stay here in the USA. And it looked like it was going to happen. Until his mother interfered. And I never saw him again. Until NOW!

Dennis, he's been missed. Because he's part of my family too. (:

I'm sorry mom.

Today was amazing.

I have a long road ahead.

But it will all work out.

Because anything and everything is possible with God.

peppermint tea and mama hugs

Thank you mama.
For making sure there would be women who would share their motherly love with me if needed.
For instilling in me the wonders of our Lord and Savior.
When in my time of pain and sorrow when I reach for you when you cannot come anymore; He is there.
Thank you mom's for your 6th sense when a child you care for needs you.
Thank you for love, cool water, and late night phone calls.
And staying on the phone till I fall asleep.
Thank you Heavenly Father for never abandoning me.

Just got back from an awesome fun-filled weekend at your dads with Scotty.
I've missed spending time with him mom, and I'm really glad dad decided to let us go and have it just be us. We siblings had a lot of catching up to do.
I'm really going to miss him when I move to California.
You and dad did a good job mama, even now, Scotty and I are still the best of friends. :)

Autumn Time.

The leaves are changing colors. So is the sky, and the days are getting shorter again. Well, they have been for awhile, but this is the season where we all start to notice. I don't particularly have a favorite season per say. I think they are all great in their own way. And they all have certain things about them that suck. Eg; fall = school. Winter = too much snow. (living in Ellesnburg does that to you.) Spring = lots and lots of rain if you're a Seattle-ite.) And summer, (especially last summer) is too freaking hot. But I am a huge fan of Autumn and all of it's beautiful warm and rich vibrant colors.

Once again.

You are remembered and missed.
And this still isn't normal to me.
Who really gets into the swing of not having a mom?
That's what I thought, no one.
Today I remember, miss, and love you.

Thank you for the shooting star mama.
I love you.

Today we Remember

Those we lost today 8 years ago.
A day that our country came together.
Today we also take time to remember...
...not just those lost in the towers, but
Anyone we have might lost over the years.

We remember.
And I remember you.

CITs!!

Boom-dee-ada.

You are sailing down the Hood Canal now.
Farewell, I love you.

O're the waters...

Dear mama, I'm finally going back to Robbinswold I can't wait.
What an emotional experience it is going to be.
I wonder if I will find the letter you tucked away at Barnacle Bay for me.
I will see you there.
I love you mom.

[Update!!]

Mama!! I made it to P. Point! You were there with the seals just waiting for me weren't you? Yep, I know mom, I know. (:

tomato

today i drank tomato juice with my lunch.
i was sitting at the dining room table enjoying the view out of the sunroom.
the crystal blue of the sound. the sparkling water like tiny crystals.
smiling at the picture of you on the mantle.
i took a sip of the juice and breathed in the strong scent of tomatoes.
and suddenly i was back in 2004-back from camp and you and i were outside together.
sitting out on the gazebo deck sipping lemonade, scotty swinging in the hammock nearby.
frosty and bruno running around the neighborhood and dad at Costco no doubt.
and your cherry tomatoes in a delicious salad you prepared for us. yumm.
you and i laughing and chatting and catching up like best friends do.
enjoying the company like moms and daughters do.

and then...the memory was over.
aug. 22nd 09: you have been gone for 13 months.
perhaps that's why you sent me a memory today.
thank you mama.

Today I am smiling.
I have laughed, screamed, smiled, lived.
Today I remember what it's like to be happy again.

I love you mom. (In Loving Memory)

Here we go. I've put my heart and soul into this vid. Pretty much like I do with all of my work that relates to my mama. I miss her something terrible and I'm sure after this loads, I'll have a good long cry. I love you mama, this one's for you.

There is a way out.

I see the path, from this dark place.
I see my future.

I want a mom. My mom.

It's funny how the lyrics of a song can grasp your soul and really speak to you. It's even amazing how some of those certain songs have a way of finding you when you didn't you were looking. I've never heard this song before. (That's not saying much though haha.) It really got to me yesterday though when I first heard it and listened to the lyrics. I love words. It made me angry. It made me sad. It made me jealous. It made me remember. Today, August 16, is the birthday of one of my mom's dearest friends who is also having a really hard time without my mom. She raised her family with the same morals and understanding like mine. And she always looked to my mom for guidance. I love Kimberly, though she has her own family, se promised my mama as she was passing away that she would look out for my brother and I. And she certainly has. So, while I do not have my mom down here on earth, I have an earth mom that loves me very much. Though there is nothings like your own mother, mine just isn't here anymore. But she's the best guardian angel I could ever ask for. So I have a mom and and angel mom. One mom watches the rainbows with me, while the other one makes them. :)
So here's to you Kimberly. I love you very much. Happy Birthday!
And to you mama. I love you so much. This song. These lyrics are for you. I miss you.

"I want a mom that will last forever. I want a mom to make it all better
I want a mom that will last forever. I want a mom who will love me whatever

I want a mom to take my hand. And make me feel like a holiday
A mom to tuck me in that night and chase the monsters away
I want a mom that'll read me stories And sing a lullaby.
And if I have a bad dream to hold me when I cry

I want a mom that will last forever. I want a mom to make it all better
I want a mom that will last forever. I want a mom that will love me whatever, forever

When she says to me, she will always be there. To watch and protect me I don't have to be scared
Oh, and when she says to me I will always love you. I won't need to worry 'cause I know that it's true

I want a mom when I get lonely. Who will take the time to play
A mom who can be a friend and a rainbow when it's gray
I want a mom to read me stories And sing a lullaby
And if I have a bad dream, to hold me when I cry

I want a mom that will last forever. I want a mom to make it all better
I want a mom that will last forever. I want a mom that will love me whatever, forever."

I want my mom...
But I do have one. A few actually. And they will be there for me until mine will take me up in her arms for eternity and never let me go. Never again.

Visiting Jenn!!

Flying out to Spokane and my Jennifer will be picking me up at the airport. omg. I'm so excited, you have no idea. I MISS this girl. While down in Oregon she called me up and pretty much told me to "get your butt over here." She's newly engaged and David is going to be down in Nevada on a geology dig, so that means....GIRL TIME!! I'm so excited. Love her.

UPDATE:

In Spokane with my bud, and we have packed a picnic lunch and will soon be on our way to Cour de'Lane. This really hot weather is ridiculous. But she's used to it, and me living in the 'Burg for awhile, we're pretty used to it. (: However...Flanders, her car is being a tard. His AC only works when going 70+ mph. That's fine and all on the East side of the state, but...we're driving back to Seattle together and uh, well...the West side is 60mph and below. Chyeah. We're gonna die.

The cycle continues.

You have been gone a year. One. 365 days and counting. The cycle is continuing again. I am no closer to knowing why you were taken Home so soon. But no farther either.
Watch over me.

You are not here anymore. Not physically. I cannot touch you. I cannot reach out and have you catch me. I cannot cry and have you dry my tears. You are not here anymore. But you are not gone. Not forever anyway. You live on. In me.
Watch over me mama.
Watch over me.

I love where I live.

Three Tree Point is the place to be. And the 4th of July is no exception. So have a happy Independence America. I's proud to be an American.

Gosh I sure do love where I live. (:

love again?

so last night was SO good.
i had to write about it.
i've decided that i'm in love with love.
the butterflies and that excited feeling in the center of your stomach.
seriously now, i haven't felt that rush of really excited and happy emotion
since my mom died.
perhaps the sadness is finally beginning to crumble
because while i love, love.
i'm loving life again.

Mothers Day...

I survived it.

Beauty lives on.

Hosanna.
Hosanna.
Hosanna in the Highest.

Today I walked alone and spread my arms out like wings.
My head falling back and the beauty of the clear blue sky,
Overwhelming me to almost certain tears.
The love of the Lord and my mother wrapped around me.

Hosanna in the Highest.

This night one year I ago I sat in your hospital bed with you and we laughed and talked about things like we'd always do.
This night one year ago you were so excited to go home.
This night one year ago I learned you wouldn't be here much longer and I begged you to stay.
That night so long ago you were near me and with me like all moms are.
Tonight I wait for you to come find me and chase me to bed like you'd always do, but you won't be coming back.
And tonight, like every other night, I miss you.

London after midnight, Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh!

Oh, you'd have to know my E-Burg buddies and I to understand. Love it.

!

"Not all who wander are lost."

Words of wisdom from J.R. Tolkien as well as my mother. It's going to be busy as we wrap things up over here. Within the next day and a half my class will be heading back to the U.S. Ah Europe, you are amazing. I'll come back again someday.
"It's a dangerous business going out your front door. You step out onto the road and if you don't keep to your feet, there's no telling where you might be swept off to..." -Tolkien

Perhaps my heart lies in Paris

We could do whatever we wanted tonight and all I did was sit and admire the Notre Dome'. It's so beautiful and majestic, how could anyone not? There is a peace I feel sitting in it's great presence. Yes, I will come back to this place again someday. Sooner then later, a lesson I have learned from my parents. Maybe I will bring my own daughter someday and we will come here together for the mother and daughter adventure mom and I planned years ago. Yes, yes this is the city of love. I've got my mom's warm embrace wrapped around me and that is the love that will get me through anything. Au revior ma me're, je t'adore le vous.

Le Notre Dome

A song sung by the many who attended Camp Robbinswold, all over the world, and sung to me as a lullaby by my very own mother...French Cathedrals."Orleans, Beaugency. Notre Dame, De cle'ry. Vendome', Vendome'"

"Au Champs Elisee!"

Well that takes me back to High School French Camp!

Well this so-called Blog Outage is kinda driving me nuts, and my posts aren't really popping up in the correct chronological order, but he, I'm getting the responses like, "It feels like I'm right there with you!!" and that's what I wanted to hear! :) Ahem, it's tres' gorgeouss in the city du Paris! And when we were let loose to have some fun I went crazy at the Tour de Eiffel! Seriously folks, it's a work of art! Venez régaler vos yeux sur mes photos de la Tour Eiffel toujours étonnante! It's sort of a smug feeling conversing with the people of France, especially when we aare able to have pretty fluent conversations with them. Obviously they weren't expecting such things from a group of Americans. Although, they are however, quick to congradulat us on the election of President Obama. "Il est temps de vous les Américains ont voté Bush de bureau." *big sigh* Polotics.

Bonjour de Paris!

Bonjour chers amis! Mon groupe et moi avons fait en toute sécurité via Chunnel. Cela est certainement passionnant, je souhaite que nous avions chunnels aux États-Unis. (Comme' di chunnel?) Paris est à la façon dont ma mère et je l'espère, il serait. Nous sommes heureux de manger du thé sucré et des croissants au beurre pour le petit déjeuner. Il me manque terriblement de son, mais je peux entendre ma mère anglaise ridicule accent sur les rues. Et elle me fait sourire. Aujourd'hui cependant, je manquer. Mon coeur fait mal aujourd'hui. Avec l'amour et des caresses anglaise de moi à vous, chers amis. L'amour de votre ami, Katie

The scadal at le Louvre! (Quel h'oreur!)

Ah, le Mona Lisa! (until I got caught taking pictures...)

Préférez-vous écrire en anglais à nouveau? Bien, je suppose que je n'ai pas le choix ensuite.

Ce n'est que parce que Je t'aime. Well okay then, when we first arrived in Paris via chunnel, (which by the way is insanely AWESOME! A tad scary if you're slightly closterphobic, but fun nonetheless.) Anywho, it was sort of overcast and for a moment I was like, "Hey! I'm back in Seattle, whatdoya know!" Then it got sunny. Arc de Triomphe, here I come!

It's a long hard climb; but I'm gonna get there!

Did my other post seriously just upload?? Oh how I miss the oober fast speed my mac goes to, with my amazing super techsavvy brother would fix any problem I caused and answer any question I have. :) It's dinnertime! And it's been a loooong day. Gorgeous however, but long. We filmed on location today and my gosh, God hides his treasures everywhere. Boy it sure was beautiful, I didn't have the foggiest idea that it can be this beautiful along the coast of England. But at any rate, we hiked it! So to say and with cameras and heavy equipment and loose rocks and steep ravines and Gary joking around saying, "don't fall off!" and the professor from NYU that would glower at one of us every time we called him Gary instead of Mr. Nelson drove us nuts! Oh, by the way, its' really windy and I almost lost my camera because I didn't have it secured on its wrist strap. Why is it that the rich and mighty get to have all of these beautiful places to themselves? Actors buying their own islands, blocking off sections of land and putting up huge signs saying, "Private Property! Tresspassers WILL be punished!" Well what about the rest of the world that might like to enjoy these places? *le sigh* It's almost like I'm in Pirates of the Caribbean exploring the different islands. It's absolutely breath taking! But now, back in the comfort of our house with the weird toilets and apple butter on rye toast, it's raining. And the best thing to do when it's raining? Fight for the armchair by the window, turn the ipod to the "Enya playlist" and cozy on down for a short nap as the raindrops drizzle down the windowpane before we head to London for a night on the town. Hugs n' Kisses and love from England, Katie

It's too early for an Anderson to be up...

Well hello, hello there. I'm up, and no one else is. Well, I'm sure Gary and the other daults are, but kid wise, no-sir-e-bob! What is the deal yo? Last one to bed, first one to rise? Ad it's hecka early! And on another note this Internet is annoying. I've tried to post this entry 3 times but because we all have to share, people keep closing the laptop while my blog is still uploading!!!!! It's nice to be the only one up...granted it was 6am when I started writing this, so that means...you were all snug in bed!! I've been taking this quiet and spending it on time for myself, "ME" Time, as my mom would put it. I'm reading, "Glimpses of Heaven" and keeping up with the "Purpose Driven" journal. It's much smaller and much lighter then the book. :) And of course taking time to check in with God and my mom, because this is an amazing experience, but the parts on this trip that are truly making me gasp in awe and wonder are the beautiful creations from the land He has given me. It's truly awesome.
Know what else is awesome? The food. We're like the first group of kids in this tiny town that the women have seen since their own kids went off, so they leave basket after basket of bread, soups, fruits, veggies, and nuts on the doorstep of our house. Way to go moms!
So, you're all probably dying to know the juicey details on the film aren't ya?
Well, cycling through here are 6 weeks of students. I am part of week 3, there are 3 students from 3 different arts and film scools selected to fly out here and get in on the action. Week 3 consists of 9 students from Central Washington Univ, Pepperdine, and NYU. We have been split into 3 groups, and I am in group 2: Katie Anderson CWU/ Spencer Boggs P/ and Crystal Omen NYU and we are already having a blast.
We are gophering the production of an Indie (Independent) Foreign film. It is called ,"Homme de Dieu" which in English translates to "Man of God" it's a documentary with English actor, Sean Bean. For those of you that might not be able to put your finger on it, his claim to fame in America was his role as Boromir in The Lord of the Rings. Tomorrow my group gets to go to Paris since we are the 3 that can speak (almost) fluent french, so this will be a very fun experience!
Most of you know, but I missed meeting Mr. Blockbuster himself. Darn you Jerry Bruckheimer! I was still up in the air when he graced the production team with his presence. He is in Europe for the production of a movie of his own.
Come hither so I can brag about the man who never ceases to amaze me.
--->http://www.jbfilms.com/ just a heads up, he has to do everything BIG! So the sound just might blow you away. ;)
Though it's a bummer I missed him, lets not forget God is good! I have already met him at one of the Seattle International Film Festivals last spring and that was an amazing experience! Haha, that was a phone call that awaoke my mama from one of her looooooooong naps, "MOM! JERRY BRUCKHEIMER'S HERE!! Freak out moment!" "Stop freaking out, grab some of your work and go talk to the man!!" That's my mom for ya, and that introduction has probably changed my life.
Last night was the gala event where we all got to come together and socialize and converse with the people in our desired field, and you can bet that Imade quick friends with the screenwriters. This is only my 2nd full day here and I'm in awe and having a blast! I'm starting to feel that drive that I feel I've been lacking since my mother died. I'm going to be honest with you all, I've been plotting ways to go after Jerry instead of filming this measley foreign film, but "All things happej for a reason." as Jeannie Anderson would say, so Ii'm just going to have to grit my teeth and do this.
What a long post! Don't worry, I won't be offended if more then half of you don't even bother to read this. I'm off to film on locaion!!

Love, Katie

Does it bother anyone else that this Blogger doesn't have spellcheck? It's been driving me nuts!!

England

I am totally loving the country side, far more then my counterparts who are dying to be back in he hustle and bustle which is London. We'll be back there soon enough, for now, here is the freaking tiny house 9 college kids and all of their crap are being stuffed into for thenight. I shouldn't really complain though, the others who flew out on Sunday have been squished far longer then I have. And besides...

<----Check out that sweet garden!!

If you squint you can see my mom don't you think?

Cheerio from England. I arrived here at 9am and the current time is 3:30pm. o_O Here is a picture of the country side as we made our way to the coast of Hastings, which is where I reside as of now. If you look closely you can see the reflection of some very excited Americans in the glass. The only thing that would make this picture even better is some big wooley sheep. You know, the kind my mom would love. But this scene just brings to life the picture she put in my mind that England would look like. It is sunny here, but one can't be fooled, it's HECKA chilly!! But Gary says that's good filming weather. I wouldn't know. It's beautiful and peaceful here, if you just close your eyes for a moment and breathe in a big breath of fresh air...I feel my mother's presence here with me and the feeling is bittersweet. I love you woman. Well, you know I must be tired because I just crushed my hair clip. It looked like a ginormeous spider out of the corner of my eye. I can hear all of you mother's back home yelling, "Take a nap!!" Here at the coast of Hastings! It's even colder over here, you can see the sun seems to be going elswhere because it's a terd. No I am not going to go swim dad.
It's time to meet my group, so this update has to come to a close. Hugs and kisses from England!

This is my blog I will be updating during my time in Europe.

Arrivederci, au revior, see ya soon!

~ *~

It's hard to tell where the path of life will take me, but I can tell you, that by the grace of God, it will always take me home.

Love, Katie

Note: Picture taken by my beautiful cousin Lerin Herzer.

02-26-1951

Today is my mom's birthday
And I am missing her.
February 26th.

Happy Birthday mama.
I love you.

I write from the balcony of my granddad's house.
The moon is already out and the pinks and purples of the sky are setting on the water.
If you listen closely, you can hear the waves lapping on the shore.
It smells like cedar out there. Mmmm.
And my granddad telling me stories about my mother...I've missed him.

There is magic here I know it.

6 months

Today marks the 6th month since my mama passed away.
It's a weird feeling, I couldn't tell ya if it feels like it's been years, or if it was just like yesterday.
Either way, it blows.
I miss her.
I called her phone last night, I knew she wouldn't pick up, but I was sure hoping.
It's just not the same without her.


6 months.
I have motherless for 6 months.

01-18-1951

Happy Birthday daddy.
I'm so sorry.
I know how much you miss her.
But Scotty and I love you dearly.

it's okay.
you're free.
love you.

[dislike] SNOW

it's snowing again!! XD asdjkdfdafk!
gosh dang it, i need to go to work!!
actually, i hate work, but i'm broke. and poor.
(same difference)